Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Jesus hates me.

Well good news everyone, thanks to Jinxy, I got myself a new blog. I suppose nobody is ever going to read this so ........ farewell inhibitions!!!

Since nowadays I seem to spend most of my off-time chatting with nerds, pervs and jihadi's (is there a difference?), in yahoo chatrooms, let's just start with a nice transcript of a chat I had with a good samaritan Christian, in the Christian chatroom. I started off by saying: "Jesus hates me" in the room itself, whereupon this MF PM'd me and the following conversation ensued:
(For the idiots among us..... I am Big_Cat_Mickey)

kan4tech2000: hi
big_cat_mickey: Hi
kan4tech2000: Complement
big_cat_mickey: You look good........ your turn
kan4tech2000: I am Nsikan
kan4tech2000: Why did you say that Jesus doesn't love you anymore
big_cat_mickey: Cause Ninjas killed my family and I dont have enough cash to take kung fu classes.
kan4tech2000: Sorry,who are ninjas
big_cat_mickey: Ninjas are nasty little creatures
kan4tech2000: Like
big_cat_mickey: Like Asamites..... only shorter
kan4tech2000: you are joking,am i right
big_cat_mickey: Would you joke about something as serious as that?
kan4tech2000: no
kan4tech2000: what is your country
big_cat_mickey: Why do you ask?
kan4tech2000: cos we dont experience such here
big_cat_mickey: You dont have Kung Fu?
kan4tech2000: no
big_cat_mickey: No ninjas??
kan4tech2000: no
big_cat_mickey: Must be paradise.
kan4tech2000: not that
big_cat_mickey: Where do you live?
kan4tech2000: Nigeria,and you
big_cat_mickey: Japan
big_cat_mickey: But in Nigeria you also dont have Geishas right?
big_cat_mickey: And no nymphomanic nurses
kan4tech2000: do ninjas really exist cos i do watch chinese films
big_cat_mickey: Oh man...... they're everywhere here.
big_cat_mickey: They're in league with the Yakuza.
big_cat_mickey: I cant take a stroll with the dog without tripping over them.
kan4tech2000: friend i actually feel your pain but still yet, jesus loves you
big_cat_mickey: Are you sure? Cause I dont know him.
kan4tech2000: sure
kan4tech2000: I know him
big_cat_mickey: See that is what I thought first time I got out of jail.
big_cat_mickey: But then I got to thinking.......
big_cat_mickey: A lot of men loved me in jail.......
big_cat_mickey: and I'm not really into that kind of stuff.
kan4tech2000: dfo you have a bible
big_cat_mickey: Yes but I cannot read it.
big_cat_mickey: And most of the pages are torn and missing
kan4tech2000: why cant you read it,is it cows it is torn
big_cat_mickey: When I was in the foreign legion.... we used to make these long desert tracks..... do you know how painful it is to wipe your ass with sand....... so... we used whatever was at hand
kan4tech2000: can you get another one
big_cat_mickey: Yes but I still wont be able to read it.
big_cat_mickey: hello..... friend are you still there??
big_cat_mickey: Just when I thought someone gave a damn........
big_cat_mickey: See nobody cares.
big_cat_mickey: I better go and shoot up some shit.

3 Comments:

Blogger Ariel said...

Haha...Thats gotta be one of the funniest things I've ever read...lmfao@"A lot of men loved me in jail"....hee hee...

9:20 PM  
Blogger bulb said...

you gotta be a sick attention whore to post comments to your own rants........... yeah...... I am ......
:-D

10:54 PM  
Anonymous kris said...

bulb you are an attention whore! but we loves ya anyways...and the men in jail "loves" you lots and lots....lol

11:49 PM  

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