Saturday, April 16, 2005

I hate philosophers.

Now and again, I dabble a little in philosophy. Which is something that gives me joy and hopefully some wisdom. The only downside to philosophy is the philosophers. I'm not talking about "real" philosophers here like Spinoza, the Christ and Socrates, I'm talking about the human puke that deems it necessary to drool their ill-conceived plagiarisms all over the net.
Every other week I seem to be confronted with yet another narcissistic failure of a man, indulging in some form of auto-erotic mental gymnastics. Let's for example take a look at some of the semi-philosophical phlegma I was confronted with last week:

"i wonder, though, if that is enough for what it sounds from the substance of what you write if that is enough : the contact between artist and audience? perhaps as i read more and more entries about your connecting with your friends there the friendship and connection you seek precipitates out upon the screen, and the artist/audience interactions becomes merely ... screen fill ..."

Allthough contrary to popular belief, I'm not really that dumb, I must confess that I have absolutely no idea what this motherfucker is on about.
Now let's compare that piece of philosophical herpes with a quote from my favourite philosopher:

"Let he who is without sin, throw the first stone."

Do you see the difference? It's plain! It's simple! And it's shocking in its life-altering vision.
I have developed this little theory about what drives this human waste to continue to barf their syphillus ridden little theories out, in an attempt to produce an original thought. And it can be stated plain in simple (Like any good philosophy....... Applause and Pussy.

When I was a little kid, my mother, everytime I went to take a crap, would come, look at it, and applaud. Giving me a sense of creativity and a shit-load of positive feelings about myself. And still everytime I create one of those magnificent piles of doodoo, I can hear choirs of angels breaking out into a song. Now imagine someone not blessed with a creatively poo-obsessed mother like mine. A mother who uses words like: "stink", "bad" and "dirty". Somehow a child will start to wonder how he can get someone to applause for his shit. Such a person may grow up to talk shit, and write shit and think shit, just in an effort to get mommy to applaud. BUT SHE OBVIOUSLY WONT YOU OBNOXIOUS NARCISSITIC ASSHOLES!

Which is brings us to the all-important pussy! Let's just have a look at the life of the marvelous philosopher Foucault. His philosphy is simple, crystal-clear and always relevant. Now you might think this Foucault got the pussies shoved in his face for breakfast. Wrong! Foucault's life was overshadowed by a great lack of pussy. In fact, I don't believe he ever got any. So what does this teach us? PHILOSOPHY IS NOT GOING TO GET YOU ANY PUSSY ASSHOLES! Personality, nice eyes and a great butt rakes in the pussy, not unintelligible scriblings about the meaning of the universe.

I hope we have all learned something today. As for me, I'm going to the shitter to enjoy the music.


Blogger kris said...

if i have something to say...i say it but. usually, i have it backed with some sort of research, and i accept it if im wrong. which is what anyone should do. instead of getting your ego bashed cause you stated a philosiphy with no merit and somebody calls you on it...use it as a learning tool. unfortunatly, not many do this and take it as a direct attack then go off spouting nonsensical crap...which all boils down to i bet i can piss further than the next guy. its sad, but its a majority of people.

11:14 PM  
Blogger Ms Burden said...

Just love the way you hate philosophers!

That makes two of usssssssss!!!!!

1:50 AM  
Blogger Ms Burden said...

WOW... taking into consideration what i have just read a little better, I have nothing much left to say. I have a terrible disorder (I would call it that way) which is I understand the writings backwards - first I read, then I read a second time to make sure what I figured out... I hadn't recognized the odd shit I was once approached by that deadly philosopher!!!! Thanks BULB!!!

Well, I am free from diseases like that just by being a little indulgent. I respect all kinds of dwelling thoughts, as long as they are based on exploratory and self-questioning premisses!!!!!!!!!!!! However, that was nearly something likewise... GOTCHA

2:10 AM  
Blogger bulb said...

Well, Laila, to be honest, your blog gave me the inspiration for that post. (Of course, I wasn't talking about your ramblings, but the fanmail you get translates into: 'Damn I need pussy, but have no idea how to approach a woman.'

9:35 PM  
Blogger Ms Burden said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Ms Burden said...

Thanks for being inspired by my post!!!

OK, fine!!! I got that!!! But I am not the one to talk about how one can approach a pussy anyway, sorry... O-b-v-i-o-u-s-l-y, I guess!

I need you to explain to me why wasn't that comment funny??? It seemed to me completely HYSTERICAL!
Again, sorry if I didn't get what you meant... In fact, I do listen to choirs of angels when I dump loads hihihihi

10:48 PM  

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