Friday, April 22, 2005

Poetry for Men

Let one thing be clear. I like women. I like all women. I like them small, round, lean, tall, fat, skinny, you name it, I like it. But most of all I like fullbreasted caucasians in their sexual prime. Now that I have carefully established the conviction in the readers mind that I am indeed a heterosexual, I think it is safe for me to confess that I love D.H. Lawrence.
My first introduction, with Lawrence was a copy of "Lady Chatterly's Lover", that secretly circulated in the dorm of my school. It wasn't so much that we boys were inclined to read great literature as much as that the book was the only wanking material that we had available. Little circles had been drawn around the page numbers where the Lady gets nekkid and most of the pages stuck together. I read it and I loved it. (In so many different ways.)
Almost a decade later, I was introduced to Lawrence's poetry, more or less by accident. This little fucker did the trick:

Self Pity

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

Reading that at the impressionable age where a boy turns into a man feels like getting a bucket full of Testosteron thrown in your face. Whomever wrote this be it man or woman had understood what it was to be a MAN. I was pleasantly surprised that the same guy who had nurtured my infantile sexual drive was now nurturing my budding manhood. (Okay..... that definitely reads "gay".)
On a side-note, the term MAN is grossly overused nowadays. We tend to call every person with a penis over the age of 16 a man nowadays. I don't want to give a lecture about what exactly a MAN is, so here's a little list of MEN: Hemmingway, Gandhi, that tiny dude who didn't back down last week when I threatened to punch him in the face, Ali Sina, Jesus and Theo van Gogh.
A little list of boys: "Chirac, Bin Laden, 50 cents, any guy with "DJ", "MC", "VJ" or "ICE" in his name, and the muzzie that killed Theo van Gogh."
That being said..... let's have another look at that safehouse of testosterone Lawrence:

To Women, As Far As I'm Concerned

The feelings I don't have I don't have.
The feelings I don't have, I won't say I have.
The felings you say you have, you don't have.
The feelings you would like us both to have, we
neither of us have.
The feelings people ought to have, they never have.
If people say they've got feelings, you may be pretty
sure they haven't got them
So if you want either of us to feel anything at all
you'd better abandon all idea of feelings altogether.

And so in closing, a little note to the woman that is giving me crap about wether or not she is my girl: Woman what the fuck do you expect me to do?


Blogger Ms Burden said...

I find your words pretty educational!!! I am so happy to encounter new idiomatic expressions like this one for example "wanking material" which according to my dictionary means: (British vulgar slang) some material to masturbate!!! See? I learn lotsa new words with Bulb.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will have to agree with what u said...I especially like the "forget about feelings all together" part. BTW this is Sassy...having problems with my password for some reason =(

6:07 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home