Monday, May 09, 2005

Indian turd

When I was sixteen years old, my parents sent me to India. I won't go into their motives for this strange move. (That story would include ugly words like: psychosis, hysteria, guru and other words that make you shiver.) I spent over two years there, never seeing my parents or visiting my beloved Holland, in between. It was an "amusing" experience to say the least. The Indian culture never ceased to amaze me. And I do believe, I never ceased to amaze those tiny little Indians that seem to run around all over the Indian sub-continent.
It's quite hard adjusting to a different culture. It's like being thrown into the water, when nobody seems to notice the tiny detail that you never actually learnt how to swim. I was sixteen. Fuck my parents; It was hell.
I had some interesting encounters though. For instance one of my friends wanted me to meet his family. So off on his motorcycle we went, through the slums and rice-fields to a stately mansion in the middle of no-where. During the polite encounter with the family, I suddenly felt the urge to relieve myself, and consequently asked one of the young boys to show me the bathroom. He brought me to a dimly-lit little room, with a hole in the floor, a cup and a little tap. Now for those of you who never visited India, your regular toilet consists of a hole in the floor, a tap, a cup and a lightbulb that dimly lights up your smelly surroundings.
I squatted over the hole, and without much exertion I was able to create a beautifully shaped turd. Panic struck however when I was unable to flush. No matter how much water I threw on it, the turd wouldn't leave. It just sat their, smiling a relaxed and taunting smile at me.
Finally I gave up, zipped up, and went back to the living room, passing the actual toilet on the way. I just hope they weren't too surprised when they went to take their bath the next morning.


Anonymous HF said...

Dus daar heb je zo perfect Engels geleerd?

Mijn complimenten. Je schrijft goed!

8:21 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Um...ok that's just gross LOL

9:39 PM  
Blogger kris said...

lmfao! ok now this is time i would just find shubbery in the backyard. and its a good thing you arent clausterphobic!

10:20 PM  

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