Tuesday, May 31, 2005

My friends are assholes

Most of my friends are assholes. No shit! Maybe I'm spoiled. I've spent so much time with psychiatric patients, that I just can't respect "normal" people anymore. So any friends of mine reading this (except K. and her kids), go fuck yourselves. (K., sorry, you're not "normal", and neither are your kids.)
When a psychiatric disorder "falls" on you. And yes, it can happen to anybody. Your life is in shambles. Every dream you ever had about your future is gone. Every avenue of life, once envisioned, is closed off for good.. Completely out of the blue, from being on top of the world, you fall down into the "ultimate loser" status. Your life is gone. Where once you were able to illicit feelings of friendship, jealousy, love and lust, now the only feelings you can provoke are pity and fear.
And there you are. Rock bottom. Katabase. Stripped of every role you ever starred in. And nothing but the prospect of a long hard road back to society. And don't forget, you'll never be able to be what you once were. You'll never be able to be what you could have been.
Until I quit my job. It was my role in life to observe those that took that hard and long road. Not help. I haven't got the illusion that an hour a week is going to help. Just observe. And quietly adore the inner strength of those who fell..
Those that chose to walk that road, they used their imagination. No more cut-and-paste roles. They had to reinvent the fucking wheel. They could have just sat down. Refused to move. Given up. But they didn't. They went on.
Fuck! This is making me emotional. I've had the privilege to work with MEN! To work with WOMEN! Not fucked-up neurotic "normal" assholes and housewives. I had the privilege to work with human beings who had to fight for everything that is "given" to "normal" people.

Mr. Salsa, Mr. Could-have-been-a-pro-football-player, Mrs. Used-to-be-a-doctors-wife, Mr. Labassistant, Mrs. Leanon-living, Mr. Not-Bin-Laden, Mr. Torture, Mrs. Beauty-specialist, Mrs. Daughter-of-victim, Ms. Broke-Mother, Mr. Antisocial, Mrs. Prostitute, Ms. Found-death-in-the-bushes, Ms. Full-House, Mr. Restauranteur, Mr. Feeling, and anyone I forgot........ this one's for you. I love you guys. And don't' forget "fuck normal".

6 Comments:

Blogger kris said...

there is no such thing as normal. normal is just another word for trying to fit into a society that either accepts you or doesnt and never will, but ironically this society if your accepted...is going to destroy its self anyways... ever watch the nature channel? see the episode on lemmings? how once a year they all jump off of a cliff...only theres always a few left behind sitting back laughing and flipping off the idiots running by, i love those lemmings. oh yeah...fuck you too!

2:29 AM  
Blogger Le chameau insatiable said...

true, the most interesting people i met where losers, drug addicts and drug dealers, former psychiatrist patients (not yours though), people on the road (most of them by choice), and other types of what is considered weird. their outlook on life is enlightening. i'm grateful to them. i never learnt anything from anybody who chose to fit in, whose ambition was to live through the years undisturbed, locked up in their egotic comfort bubble, their tiny smooth universe.

7:12 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Aww some people just refuse to conceed that the cliff exists for them, just because they've never fallen off it. I don't think they mean to be smug and blinkered. Try and be a bit more parental - you know stuff they don't.
Its not half so frustrating talking to normals once you stop hoping they'll understand - they're just not there yet.
Life is shit, you might as well sit down and build castles with it.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Fuck.
Concede, I meant concede.
Bollocking bloody idiot spilling misteaks........

9:13 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Prozac makes me normal...well, it makes me able to tolerate myself, along with humanity.

1:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, i thought we were friends....

9:26 PM  

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