Tuesday, June 28, 2005

What women want

There is no consensus amongst men regarding what women want. The only consensus we seem to be able to reach is that women do not want what they say they want.
Example: (Taken from random (free) dating site.)

"I like a man to be sensitive, understanding and funny. A man who is not affraid to show his feminine side. A man who will laugh with me when I'm happy and who will cry with me when I am sad. A man who takes care of the way he looks. Maybe goes to a solarium once in a while."
Translation: "I want to date a goddamn homosexual."

One of my patients litterally went crazy trying to become what women want a man to be. He took the list of requirements that women always force on you litterally and tried incorporate all those qualities within himself. He became sensitive. He became understanding. He became sweet, not-just-interested-in-sex, athletic, articulate, cultured, an equal-opportunity-freak, a good conversationalist etc. The list is endless.
One morning he woke up and his testicles were gone.

Men are simpler. Maybe even more honest. Ask a man what he wants and he'll probably tell you: "Nice tits, great ass and a porsche." (The porsche is optional.)
Translation: "Nice tits, great ass and a sense of humor." (Sense of humor is optional.)


Blogger Sassy said...

I dont want a "fairy" for a man. I also dont like a man who can cry with me (i like to cry alone), a man doesnt need to become a pussy to be what a woman wants. I find a man's personality to be more attractive than anything. A man's actions and personality makes him sexy...sexy over ranks looks (my opinion). Of course, I've always been attracted to the "bad boys". I want a man who can be himself. The main thing for a woman: be understanding! Keep some romance in the relationship, LISTEN to a woman when she talks, and remember: she likes sex too! As for the ass and tits thing...blah blah blah. =D

11:44 PM  
Blogger bulb said...

so sassy wants:
1. a Man who cant cry
2. no Fairy
3. no Pussy
4. Personality
5. sex
6. a bad boy
7. an understanding man
8. a romantic
9. a good listener
10. a guy who is not into tits and ass


11:51 PM  
Blogger kris said...

all i want is to fall and be caught. thats all, means he will be strong enough to withstand me breaking down. and know when to reach out his arms. so basically someone who gets me. good luck, cause i dont even get me half the time.

11:52 PM  
Blogger bulb said...

well...... Evil Krissy seems to be posing a problem here. We have a woman with a conscious desire to "fall"
"...all I want to do is fall..." (latent auto-mutilation? suicidal tendencies? psychosis-in-the-box?)
She wants a savior. And not your run-o-the-mill understanding wimp savior, she wants strong arms. Basically I belief this woman is looking for a good psychiatrist-lover. Multiple orgasms and a prescription all in the same fuck.
Keep looking. You're weird! You're not the kind of woman this post is about.

12:09 AM  
Blogger Sassy said...


12:20 AM  
Blogger bulb said...


No farting on my blog!!!!

1:33 AM  
Blogger Sassy said...


3:41 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Nah its easy. You have to take the womans statement, meaning 'What is missing in my life is....X' to also mean 'What is so abundant in my life that I take it for granted is Y (the opposite)', ergo 'What I want is a good looking bloke who can mix with Ys without standing out, but has a secret side where he's a bit X'. Simple. Except in this case, where she obviously rates a tan or fake tan and might be one of those orange girls with the overplucked eyebrows.

10:35 AM  
Blogger airforcewife said...

Recent conversation between myself and my belabored hubby:

Hubby: Where would you like to go to dinner?

Me: I'm not sure. What would you like?

Hubby: Is that a REAL I'm not sure, or do you mean, you actually know what you want to eat and I'm supposed to guess?

Me: Of course it's a real I don't care. You choose, I'll go along with it.

Hubby: I don't know, I have a bad feeling about this...

Me: Oh, make a damn decision already!

Hubby: Okay, I want to go to Olive Garden.

Me: WHAT? You KNOW I can't go there! It's all pasta and I'm low carbing! You KNOW! How insensitive can you be?

Hubby: Umm, very insensitive???

conversation continues...

2:09 PM  
Blogger prairie biker said...

Every time I read something like this it makes me so happy I married 'low maintenance'.

Of course, if I hadn't she wouldn't put up with my shit either.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Le chameau insatiable said...

at this point (now that i'm older and way too cynic, still happily unstable, etc.), i'm interested in 2 types of guys : friends and fuckfriends. They are not interchangeable however. Former is for as long as we can stand each other, latter is discardable. I have no long checklist to find a match, i love variety and enjoy trying out all types...

7:17 PM  
Blogger bulb said...

@ Cheryl,
If I were sober, I'd probably understand what you are trying to say. But since I live in Amsterdam: Don't complicate things. Women don't know what they want. (period)

@ airforcewife,
LOL! You sound like ...... well..... be easy on the guy. He's a hero.

@ chameau,
you sound like the perfect woman for my patient. Email me and I will send you his phonenumber.

7:59 PM  
Anonymous airforceguy said...

What really happens in the airforce household:

Hubby: Where would you like to go to dinner?

Wife: I'm not sure. What would you like?

Hubby: Is that a REAL I'm not sure, or do you mean, you actually know what you want to eat and I'm supposed to guess?

Wife: Of course it's a real I don't care. You choose, I'll go along with it.

Hubby: I don't know, I have a bad feeling about this...

Wife: Oh, make a damn decision already!

Hubby: OK, McDonald's.

Wife: No.

Hubby: How about Chili's.

Wife: No.

Hubby: What about TGI Fridays?

Wife: No.

Hubby: Where do you want to go?

Wife: Anywhere, I really don't care. You choose, I'll go along with it.

Hubby: Red Robin? Taco Bell? Pizza Hut?

Wife: No. No. No.

Etc, etc, etc.

4:34 AM  
Blogger jomama said...

I can honestly say I can't argue
with a word of that.

8:54 PM  
Blogger Star said...

I found exactly what/who I wanted and wouldn't change a thing about him.What I need to say is it took me 23 years in a bad marriage,divorce,learning to date again and had mentally given up and decided to live a reclusive life with two cats and an accidental poetry reading that I usually wouldn't go to and had someone tell me my poetry sucks(it does).There He was.Mr Amazing.Needless to say, I grabbed him up and the rest is history.. but.. the dinner thing? yes we do that too.He only eats meat and potatoes and is hard to feed creatively.. so we bicker about where to go.He asks would you like chinese? Me: we can't go there, there's nothing for you to eat on the menu..Hub: that's ok I don't mind.Me: and let you sit there and watch me eat while you sit there starving? Etc.. kind of reverse but you see the problem?*LMAO*

7:35 PM  
Blogger fineartist said...

I think I am in love with Airforce wife and Airforce guy, the couple.

I needed a good laugh this moring, now my sense of humor is all primed and kickin' in...

7:53 PM  

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