Sunday, July 03, 2005

I'll never give up smoking

There is no sociological phenomena, more intriguing, more baffling, than 'the party'. Throughout my life, I've been trying to understand why humans feel the need to occasionally gather in their hippest outfits, for a bout of funny dancing, binge drinking and the mass consumption of cocktail wieners on sticks.
There are 'ok' parties, which involve free beer, nudity and me going home with a chick that's too dumb to finish highschool.
There are bad parties, which involve funny hats, dancing with your aunt, and me giving some ugly bitch a ride home.
And then there are the parties from hell.
A large circle of chairs, seating a variety of friends and family members, carefully balancing cake on paper plates. The obligatory urine-incontinent grandmother, carefully tucked away in the corner. At some point an 'Uncle' will arrive, smiling broadly and wringing his hands, loudly proclaiming that the party has started since he has arrived. 'Uncle' will immediately make his way to granny for a big sloppy kiss; find the host and hiss that he's not taking her to the home this time cause he can still smell the last time in his car.

Maybe that's why I smoke so much. I can run outside whenever I feel an attack of party-hyperventilation coming up. Flee and light up. People will join me, but there's no need to talk cause we're there to smoke. Just smoke, drink your beer and shut the fuck up. My kind of party.


Blogger Rosie (formerly known as Rox) said...

Okay, I confess, I did read this post.

11:59 PM  
Blogger kris said...

we so need to party, i bet you wake up naked in someones yard with no recollection of what happened from 2 days ago. :D

12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My God! I thought I was the only one with family like that! Wait, does inlaws count?

4:45 AM  
Blogger bulb said...

Neither do I Jess, but some of my friends do.

8:47 AM  
Blogger jomama said...

The latter is also my kind of
party but I have a faint recollection
of the others. Been to those, ain't
going back.

But here in Mexico, everyone still
mostly smokes where he pleases, but
bad habits will eventually come
from Up North. They'll have a
sorry-assed time getting these northern habits enforced.

8:35 PM  
Blogger Ms Burden said...

My kind of party: my hubby and I drinking wine, munching delis and pates on mini whole-wheat toasts, watching a psycho-thriller movie. The temperature must be below 8°C so we must wear socks, both prostrated under a soft blanket and leaning against downy cushions and consequently making out while the movie cast names start rolling on the screen... THE BEST!!! hihihihi

3:34 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Bulb...let's party, i bet u wake up naked in MY yard!

4:53 AM  
Blogger bulb said...

Sassy, you're on!

7:06 PM  

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