Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Wanna talk about it?

We live in a therapeutic society. Everything that happens to everyone has to be discussed, analyzed and finally worked through. We just don't feel complete anymore without our daily dose of orgasmic catharsis. Everyone is in therapy.
We've had a hundred years of psychotherapy and guess what? (Everybody say: "What?") The world is getting worse! Somehow we've gotten this idea that neurosis is bad; That we are entitled to happiness; That any slightly unpleasant occurrence should be classified as trauma and worked through.
"My dog was run over by a car!" - Deal with it bitch!
"I'm so lonely" - We all are. Deal with it bitch!
"I can't get it up anymore!" - That's cause you're gay motherfucker. Deal with it!
When the soldiers came home after worldwar II, they didn't sit around on carpets in groups talking about their feelings, they gritted their teeth and went back to work. (Of course their were no fucked-up liberals around to ask them how many villages they burnt and kids they killed in Asia.) They didn't complain. They got married and raised families. Life went on. You think you're traumatized cause your daddy was a little strict? These guys were walking scars.
And then there's the therapists. They show you into a little room. You get a free drink. The clock is set for 45 minutes, and when you're finished you leave your $120,- on the table. Remind you of anything?
One of my clients was in therapy for 20 years. She was referred to me with the same problems she had when she started 20 years ago. Didn't that fuck of a shrink that had her in his caseload ever have the thought: "Hey, this is not working. Maybe I should just tell her to get a fucking life and move on." No he didn't. After I left the company, she was taken over by one of my colleagues. Last I heard the two of them were busy working through her mourning process because her dog died.
The clock keeps ticking, the insurance keeps paying, and the client is getting worse.
Even worse are the amateur therapists. I once broke up with a woman that I loved with all my heart. I drove straight to my best friend. We sat on a bench in the park facing the water and I cried. He started asking me questions, therapeutic questions and more questions. Just shut the fuck up and let me deal with it will ya? I never saw him again.

So, in closing I'll give you the following pointers so that you may get your life in order and live happily ever after:

1. Shut the fuck up!
2. Deal with it Bitch!


Blogger bulb said...

Just an afterthought:
With my two-step program I'm capable of helping people solve a lot of their emotional knots and twists. Contact me on yahoo for an appointment.

6:31 PM  
Blogger prairie biker said...

Where does Jack Daniels fit into this?

Without the booze, I think you're just enabling people to be healthier and happier.

10:58 PM  
Blogger bulb said...

Nobody touches my booze!!!

11:09 PM  
Blogger kris said...

touches bulbs booze...haha. im just lookin for trouble. if you cant deal, shut the hell up bitch!

11:43 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Part of me will agree with u, but I do believe that some of us need someone to talk happens to help us "deal with it". I also believe that if u arent getting past your issues, you're not going to.

1:06 AM  
Blogger CiscoKid said...

Well said!....
Short and to the point...

Thank you for your short post..

1:21 AM  
Blogger airforcewife said...

If you give this therapy a Japanese sounding name, and maybe hit people on the head with a newspaper while you are yelling the steps at them, you could patent it and make tons of money.

re: PTSD... a friend of mine who is a shrink at Harvard did a joint study with another friend of ours at some university in Moscow I can't pronounce about PTSD. They discovered that the single defining factor in large numbers of PTSD cases is the behavior of people at home, i.e., how is the war effort being supported? How are people "lifting up" returning soldiers? How is the cause viewed and is it seen as "worth it" at home...

I HAVE to get a hold of this study, but it's written in Russian...

3:38 AM  
Blogger Rosie (formerly known as Rox) said...

So guys DO have PMS?

6:20 AM  
Anonymous aNNabaNAna said...

i think "deal with it bitch" is a good one, but am not quite sure with "shut the fuck up".

i agree with sassy that we do have to talk (sometimes for guys, most of the time for gals) to straighten things out. my favorite talking session is - a night-in with my girl friends and several bottles of red wine ;-)

11:44 AM  
Blogger Le chameau insatiable said...

i read an article about a study which showed that people who ignored their troubles were better off than people who constantly talked about it (it was done on the 9/11 victims' relatives - i forgot the term used instead of "ignore" and also the author's name, but i can find out in my archives) of course, because therapy is such a huge money maker, noone took the study and the guy who conducted it seriously.

2:41 PM  

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