Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Living the Life

I have such an exciting life.

Today I got strangled, punched, kicked, bitten, and had I had any hair, they would have pulled it.
I inadvertantly fondled a womans ass for a couple of minutes while trying to grab her pants.
Some seriously attractive women took turns jumping on top of me.
A 240 pound security guy started nibbling my ear, and kissing my cheeck. AFTER he wrestled me to the ground. (He had help, I could have taken him.) (And please..... remember.... this is Europe.)
I pulled out a hair from the same guys ear. (Again after wrestling him to the ground.) (Yes I had help.) (Nope. I couldn't reach his nose.)
I can still hear the voice of that chick screaming: "Reminder!" Which is psycho-nursing speak for: "Hurt that bastard. Let him know we're in charge." And yes..... it did hurt. Bad.

And all that.... before lunch.
Every cell in my body aches.

God I hate that compulsory bi-annual self-defence course.

8 Comments:

Blogger A-Ron said...

First rule of self-defence course:

You do NOT blog about self-defence course.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

I said I was sorry dammit!! You want it written in blood? geeeeez....

3:18 AM  
Blogger Ms Burden said...

What's up with this sentence that you say: "And please..... remember.... this is Europe" Should I not visit Europe after you have said that???
Scarred now!!!

2:52 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

I've always wanted to take self defense. First things first...always protect your heart! *kisses Bulb's boo-boos*

10:22 PM  
Blogger fineartist said...

Okay so you got your assed kicked by a bunch of girls and you made out with a security guard, how in the hell does this in anyway prepare you to defend yourself?

4:22 AM  
Blogger bulb said...

@Jess.... sorry about what?

@Laila: eh.... no idea actually

@Sassy: I might be persuaded to show you some ... eh... "techniques"

@fine artist: Why don't you come on over and I'll show you. ;-)

8:45 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

sorry for kickin your ass..duh!! ;P

11:09 PM  
Blogger kris said...

sometimes i wonder about you....oh and i know how to drop a guy in 10 seconds. smiles innocently, oh and how to pin a guy so that if he tries to move, chances are he will be saprano for awhile. i grew up rough housing with my guy friends, so i know just about all the male weaknesses. scared yet? eh..prolly not, just dont ever back me in a corner cause im not afraid to die...or to take the other person with me.

12:12 AM  

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