Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Life sucks and I rant


I couldn't sleep the other day. I was awake all night worrying about the state of the world. Shit like that happens when you get older. It starts with worrying about shit, followed by impotence, prostrate problems, syphillis, and finally death. Im growing old.
One of the nurses at work commented on my sleepy eyes. I told her about it. Now nurses come in two kinds. Nurses with psychotherapeutic pretensions, and psychotherapists with nursing pretensions. Both are bad. She looked at me for a second and ranted: "Islam? Jihad? Terrorism? Bush? America? Dolphins? Whales?"
The greatness of this psychotherapeutically inclined nurse shows through in her immediately hitting the spot. Yes I worry about islam. Yes I worry about Arab imperialism. (Actually Im not really worried about islam. It's a harmless joke. Wahabism is the poison Im worried about.)

Yes I worry! I worry about Europeans worrying about America and Bush fucking up the world. I worry about those same Europeans not worrying about Amsterdam being a predominantly islamic city by 2020. Europeans scare the crap out of me. I worry about my grandkids living in a reservation.

I've got lots of shit to worry about. During the nightshift one of the nurses, a pretty little thing with a nice ass, a tooth piercing, (yes people, a tooth piercing), and neither psychotherapeutic nor nursing pretensions. (fuck, she'll be reading this), took some pictures of me. No problem! Everyday I get nekkid in front of the mirror and dance like an idiot. (You'd probably do that if you were as sexy as me.) I feel fine being me. However on those pictures my head looked like a fucking world war I zeppelin. My head looked as if gnomes had been pumping air into it at night. Damn!
I knew I gained weight the last two years. But why does everything have to go straight to my head? I mean.... I still got a tight ass and a belly of a 14 year old.
And then some bitch comes along and tells me I dont need to diet.... just have lots of sex. eh............ DUH! It's not for a lack of trying (bitch).

More shit to worry about: Mickey keeps puking. It's not the smell. Cat puke has a fresh acidic smell to it. It's more that my expensive blue carpet now looks like a cheap blue carpet with random brown spots on it.

Even more shit to worry about: Sassy wont come online anymore. Her hubby left her. (Good for her! He was an asshole anyway.) Krissy wont get onlin anymore. Her hubby ......... well.......... let's just say she's not allowed online anymore.

New years resolution: Get involved with single women. Single women. SINGLE WOMEN YOU FUCK!