Thursday, March 16, 2006

For Fineartist


Fineartists last two posts really caught my attention. The loving words of a mother. In one post she sings a song of love for her (extremely attractive) daughter. In the next she grieves for not being able to protect her from the follies of youth. I advise everybody to read them, they're touching.
Now as a man, reading about the woes of such a loved little princess, just makes me mad. It makes me want to put on my shining white armor, jump on my trusted steed Mickey, ride in and save the day. Problem is, I'm not really the knight-in-shining-armor type. I'm more the: "Ya, A'll save ye. But there better be some pussy in it. Either that, or pay me 80 bucks an hour. And even then there better be some pussy in it." And the armor isn't really white. It's more like a yellowish brown with beer stains on it. Come to think of it, my trusted steed, (who bit my nose so bad this morning, there was blood all over my couch), is really sick and drinks and pisses a couple of times his own body weight over the day.
I always wondered about those savior type guys. They put themselves on the line, rescue the princess / mother / virgin, and ride off towards the sunset. Is it an impotence thing?? A guy like that slays a dragon, probably gets his ass kicked in the process and then in some grand self-sacrificing gesture refuses to "take advantage of" the chick whose ass he's just saved. You can see his profile against the setting sun, while he makes his heroic ext. In comes the Bulb stands next to the saved babe.
"Fancy a shag?"
"eh.... yeah sure."

Anyway, I started this post to write some comforting words for fineartist, and all of a sudden it's all about pussy, impotence and beerstains again. I guess what I'm trying to say is: Not all guys are bad. You're one hell of a mother. Shit happens. Your daughter will be fine. Meat only tastes good after it has met the fire of the stove.

11 Comments:

Blogger zilla said...

You're a good friend to write this piece of piss soaked, beer stained support. I'm still speechless, but when I finally get around to offering some comfort to FA, I hope to be as eloquent as you.

1:09 PM  
Anonymous laila said...

It was cool to have talked to u yesterday!
Thanks again
But I won't pay you those 80 bucks.
I also think Lori's last posts were brilliant.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Moppie said...

(I'm sorry its all Dutch)
Mickey klinkt erg ziek. Is het niet tijd om afscheid van hem te te gaan nemen? Je weet het, ik ga "graag" met je mee naar de dierenarts. Kunnen we samen janken.
Of wacht je nog op die persoon uit India??


veel sterkte, liefs.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Now Bulb...you are my knight...with beer stains and all. You are a great friend to all.

Lori's posts are always awesome!

3:42 PM  
Blogger Young Goddess said...

Wow, a man's take on the anti-fairy tale. With a twist so to say!

5:46 PM  
Blogger CiscoKid said...

I lke my meat Medium Rare....

7:15 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Ewww my meat has to be WELL done or forget it. The sight of blood will make me send it back 100 times if need be.

8:16 PM  
Blogger fineartist said...

Bulb, you are a delight to me, and who would want a man who WASN’T interested in the, er, physical bonding that happens between a man and a woman. To be rescued by a man who said, “I’ve saved you, now be gone…Or, I’ve saved you, now what’s your brother doing?” Now THAT would be alarming and somewhat of a letdown I would imagine.

She is my princess, always has been. Damn it she is too kind for this world, truly. I keep asking myself why I didn’t raise her to be more like me; fair but cynical and a touch ballsy, just a touch. Then again, I tried to shield her from the things that may have contributed in making me the way I am.

You, you always take a shitty situation and turn it into laughter, that is a talent, and well, thank you for this tribute though I am sure I don’t deserve it…Hell if I were in this situation, I would hire the meanest frapping attorney in Kansas City, with a credit card of course, and I would totally EMASCULATE that boy. Naaa, truthfully I’d be fair, but I WOULD NOT allow him to run over me, and as long as I am breathing I will NOT allow him to do anything else that he hasn’t already done to her. I’m all over it now, and when she is ready, I intend to swoop in and see to it that things are fair. GD it!

Love ya, your pee pot cat, and all of these lovely people who are too good to me, mean it, Lori

12:41 AM  
Anonymous Yeeman said...

Saviour type guys are probably trying to save themselves..

I was one of these women who always thought she was a knight and had to save wounded men...
:-(
Of course, we know now that I was the one who needed to save my self.

If it's possible to be saved by somebody else, I would certainly like to KNOW ABOUT IT!!

I will read Fine Artists'blog..

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Yeeman said...

Saviour type guys are probably trying to save themselves..

I was one of these women who always thought she was a knight and had to save wounded men...
:-(
Of course, we know now that I was the one who needed to save my self.

If it's possible to be saved by somebody else, I would certainly like to KNOW ABOUT IT!!

I will read Fine Artists'blog..

8:29 AM  
Blogger Rain said...

You have such a unique way of showing that you care :)

11:13 PM  

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