Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Great Men in History


"The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the man of every other calling, is diligence. Leave nothing for to-morrow which can be done to-day."-- Abraham Lincoln From the July 1, 1850

Lincoln. A great man. A wise man. A man that led a struggling nation to the cessation of hostilities. A man that mended that what seemed to be broken beyond repair. A man that freed those who were oppressed. A leader without equal.

But boy, did that guy dress up funny. What's with that crazy hat? And dude, get a shave. I mean come on! He might have been a great president and all that shit, but that doesn't mean you have to dress up like a schizophrenic undertaker on a bad hairday.
Bulbs advice to Lincoln is: MORE COLOR! Why not try going to the opera in a pink tuxedo. Get rid of the hat. Try a baseballcap. Loosen up dude. Try chewing gum and smile once in a while.


"I want freedom for the full expression of my personality." Mahatma Gandhi

Same here. Might have been a great guy and all, but I don't buy into the bedsheet fashion statement.
Bulbs advise to Gandhi: Get rid of the sheet. You'd look great in a Scottish kilt. Finish it of with white shirt, purple tie and nike sneakers. And what's with the jug-ears? I know being bald is great, but with those ears.... no no no! Get a rug!


"Shit, what the fuck are you all doing following me? Now I'll have to call a fish and bread place to feed you all. Dammit, I hate doing that."
-Jesus, to the people following him when he gave out the fish and bread and had some leftover.


Jesus I know you're my buddy and all, and I love you to death, but in this day and age, the hippy look is OUT! Get a goddamn haircut. I'll even pay for it. (You cheap fucker you.) Get rid of the nightgown. Call me up this week, I'll take you shopping for a nice new suit. I envision you wearing.... mmmm..... crewcut, black leather jacket, white shirt and stonewashed jeans.

10 Comments:

Blogger Cheryl said...

Drunk Eye For The Holy Guy?

1:10 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

LMAO Bulb you are one hell of a nut! Where do you come up with all this shit? You could write about ANYTHING and it would make me laugh!

3:32 PM  
Blogger fineartist said...

Omg, drunk eye for the holy guy….heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Anything I could type would pale in comparison to what Cheryl and Sassy have already typed.

12:52 AM  
Blogger Rain said...

I read a book about Lincolns wife, no wonder he was somber.She was a nut job. Oh course she had so many deaths to cope with, 3 out of 4 of her children died, and of course her husband. And there was no paxil or lexapro back then.

It's funny stuff, bulb. You said over at Laila's that you might leave the blog. I hope you were kidding. I'd miss you.

1:21 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

Holy Shit! lmao

2:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what you wrote about Jesus is messed up.......do u even know who Jesus really is . well im guessing not since u wrote all of that. well here is a little somthing Jesus died for you so that u have a choice of eather going to hell or heaven . this is really true its not a joke. i know ur just a guy trying to have fun but there is a limit to everythig.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you serious!?? do you know who your talking about? Jesus was the greatest man alive who died on a cross to save your life! why dont you try reading the Holy Bible & learn a lil but about this amazing man!

1:48 AM  
Anonymous jesus freak said...

are you serious!?? do you know who your talking about? Jesus was the greatest man alive who died on a cross to save your life! why dont you try reading the Holy Bible & learn a lil but about this amazing man!

1:49 AM  
Blogger meli715 said...

are you serious!?? do you know who your talking about? Jesus was the greatest man alive who died on a cross to save your life! why dont you try reading the Holy Bible & learn a lil but about this amazing man!

1:49 AM  
Blogger dvsarchitect said...

That is just fucking awesome! Come one people, stop taking everything so seriously. Share a beer and a smile and stop being so sensitive. Killer Bulb, absolutely killer!

9:04 AM  

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