Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Bulbs back with a Vengeance!

There's a loneliness in all of us. There's a tangible sense of abandonment that we all feel. You feel it. I feel it. The deaf-mute kid at the corner of the block feels it. The antisocial borderline person that raped your sisters kid feels it. The Arab that hated all infidels and flew into the Trade Centers feels it.
It's there. It's pervasive.
He went out. He raped a little kid and hid her body. Now he goes home and feels it. He's lonely. He's cold. He's abandoned, for nobody understands him.
Take a moment and touch it. Most of you bloggers don't even have to, because it's your constant companion in life. Don't feel it? Live life over again you fuck, cause you ain't been living.
Life is cold. Life is lonely. Life is the widows son. The orphan. You either identify with it and live it, or you know him as a companion and feel him. He's there. It's cold.
There is a coldness beyond crying. A state of feeling that crying wont relieve. A sadness that doesn't go when you cry. A loneliness no lover can take away.
As you are reading this I am looking right at it. As I am writing this, I know you'll be looking right at it. There is no shame here. We clothe our orphan in many emperors clothes. Dad fucked you. Mom fucked you. Everybody fucked you. It doesn't matter who's "fucking" colored the clothes. The orphan is there. Silent. Sulking. Weighing you down and keeping you from being the being you want to be.
Nobody's hurt can top yours. The color of the garment does not matter. It's the litlle crying emperor inside.
Hell you want to get rid of it! Yes HELL! You want to be the one you are without the wound! The wound that keeps you back. If only that putrid stinking wound wasn't there you could be a fucking supermodel, supermom, Casanova, Superman. You wouldn't be so goddamn fat / small / shy / old / tiny.


It's the part we don't share. We can't share. The part that always brings us back to the only place that matters.

Me. The little place we know too well.

After the battle of Troy Uleysus went home by boat. It took him twelve years. There was a guy on the boat with a stinking putrid wound. They dropped him off somewhere at an uninhabited Greek island cause they couldn't bear the smell.
They had to go back after a year or so to get him. He was the only
one who knew how to guide them home.

It's the wound that brings us home.

Now normally I would raise an eyebrow a bit above the other one and give a really serious look at my conversation partner. This is the instant when I know wether I'm going to get lucky or not. Most women fall for it.
If I'm not sure a sulking silent taxi-ride to my place with a lone teardrop from my left eye. (Dunno why but my right eye always stays dry.) Always does the trick.

The last thing I say before....... "This wont take the pain away."
The last thing she says before... "I know."

And the BULB scores again.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Ten Top trivia Tips about Bulb!

Stole this one from Cheryl

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Bulb!

  1. Bulb can't drink - he absorbs water from his surroundings by osmosis.
  2. Bulb is the only bird that can swim but not fly.
  3. Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Bulb in a day.
  4. Czar Paul I banished Bulb to Siberia for marching out of step.
  5. Bulb was originally green, and actually contained cocaine.
  6. Cats use their Bulb to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through.
  7. White chocolate isn't technically chocolate, because it doesn't contain Bulb.
  8. Olive oil was used for washing Bulb in the ancient Mediterranean world.
  9. All swans in England belong to Bulb.
  10. The air around Bulb is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
I am interested in - do tell me about

* Yes ladies! Chocolate contains BULB!
* Numbers 5 and 6 are completely true.
* Remind me to take clean underwear to work when I do nightshifts.
* Remind me I still need to email Cheryl.
* More people should visit Le Chameau Insatiable and Yeeman and leave comments.

You Pissheads!

I wanted to write a couple of sad stories this month. Make you all feel depressed and sorry for me. But do you people grant me that little pleasure? Hell no! You guys have to top the worst of my life with stories of neglect, sexual and physical abuse, parents trying to shoot each other and suicide.
Hell! I get the impression you guys went through all that shit just to spoil my little "Look Bulb is more fucked up than we are"-month. How the hell am I going to top that stuff with my "daddy gave me a bad look" stories?
Anyway we got a couple of nominees for today:

Suicide - Sassy. (This girl is on a roll. Keep them coming.)
Chubby Brother - Yeeman (Not really that sad, but .... eh.... not really that sad.)
Purgatory - Jules (good stuff)

I'm still trying to think of something really sad to write about. You'll know it when I do.